Monday, July 11, 2011

With every season there is growth and then there is death. And then to take one more step, death comes in many ways.
If you are a Mother, do you remember when your child was first born? Do you remember the love you felt for that child. I do, I remember my heart just exploding with joy, pride and love.
I am a cross roads in my life where a death of a relationship has occurred. I fell empty, sad, lost. mad, sad, and most of all heart broken. To remember all of that love that was there in the beginning and to wonder where did it go? How could it have all gone so wrong. Why, why didn't I do things different. Why am I a failure.

1 comment:

Megan said...

You're not a failure. That love was pure & it, like everything else, grows/evolves/ changes with time. How & what it will become we will never know until time goes by. The main thing you can do is exactly what you did do......genuinely, freely, & abundantly give that love. BUT, the secret is, that whoever it was that you concentrated on & gave that love to, it is up to them what they do with it. And it is up to them what they become. Remember when you used to tell us we can become anything we want when we grow up? Did/do any of us realize how true much those words ring true??? It is up to us!! And the time to choose our own paths & destinies is when our mother, much like a momma bird, is pushing us out of the nest. Encouraging us to take a leap of faith, discover the world, take with us what we were taught, sift through all the good & bad, then make the choice to become who we want! Because she prepared us for this all of our lives & she wants to see that growth& evolution. Then that is where the beauty of being an adult comes in to play. No one is there to answer for you anymore because you had 18 years of that. With the joys of adulthood also comes responsibility. That is tasting the bitter to know the sweet. The main point I'm making here, you gave 18 years of encouraging, teaching, leading by example, nurturing, molding, etc. Once you pushed that baby bird from the when it had to grow into the person IT CHOSE to be. No more choices on your behalf, those days have come & gone. So, look back at the time you dedicated, the choices you made & know you did your best. We all make mistakes as parents, Hind-sight is 20/20. but I can guarantee there was MUCH more good than bad & like I said.....With the good always comes a little bad. It's yin & yang..... Unavoidable. And again, only time will tell, things will change again.